Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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