apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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