watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
