awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
