you traded sex for a burrito?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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