i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
