she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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