I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
