So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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