sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
