Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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