Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
