Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
