So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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