It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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