Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
