I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize