Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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