Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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