Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
