he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
