I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
