i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
