Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
