How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
