This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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