Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
