Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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