I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
