i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
