so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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