no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
