I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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