I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
