You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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