the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
