I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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