Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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