Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
