He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
