I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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