No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
