I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we're making bets on your personal life
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
