i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
