My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
