What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize