Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
