the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
