So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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