its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i need some magic done to my vagina
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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