I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
