Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
