you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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