If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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