You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
