I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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