Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
