Do vagina's smell?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
