To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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