They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
