Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
