Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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