when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
