people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
